The top ten things men do that turn women off…
10. Honking at us as we drive/walk/bike along. Especially distasteful are the catcalls that sometimes accompany this. What do you THINK we’re going to do, stop, flag you down, and moan “Take me now!”? Never gonna happen, my friend, never gonna happen.
9. Talking to our breasts. No, I don’t mean having a conversation with them. But when you’re talking to us and your eyes remain focused roughly 18 inches south of ours, we may get the feeling that you’re not into us for our wit and intellect. Get a good look before you engage us in conversation- or, hey, don’t stare at all- and MAYBE you’ll have a chance at seeing them sometime in the vague future.
8. Calling us “ma’am.” In our minds we are eternally 23, and calling us “ma’am” makes us think of our grade school librarian. Sends us sliding straight into menopause, and we don’t feel sexy when we think about our ovaries shriveling up like prunes.
7. Comparing ANY facet of our lives or personalities with YOUR mother as some sort of introductory comment. If you need us to explain why this turns us off, give it up and become either a priest or a homosexual.
6. Respecting our rights as liberated women by not displaying normal chivalries. I promise you, if a woman gets offended that you held open the door for her, she ain’t worth your time. However, it is important to note that saying “nice rack” is NOT a generally accepted normal chivalry.
5. Talking about how you are “almost” divorced. It ain’t horseshoes, guys. That’s like being almost pregnant: doesn’t exist. You are either married or not. Oh, and FYI, every woman OVER the age of 26 has learned (the hard way) that recently divorced men are not always the most fun or the most stable, and we, as a gender, prefer either one or the other.
4. Telling us we are too pretty/smart/good for the job we have chosen. We CHOSE it, remember? So if you think we make choices that are beneath us, guess what that means if we choose to go out (or home) with you?
3. Serial come-ons. This one is especially transparent to anyone who has ever worked in a bar setting. After we watch you strike out with woman after woman after woman, it’s really hard for us to believe that you REALLY had your eye on US the whole night. We’re not stupid.
2. Working our body parts into conversation. Really, guys, we know the game. If you’re an EMT or a radiology tech or whatever, please don’t try to convince us that “seeing breasts is part of my job” or “if you were my patient I would have to look at the attenuation of your breasts” or anything like that. Do you say that to your guy friends? Why even mention it?
1. If you’re younger than us, telling us you dig older women. If you are older than us, telling us it’s “nice to find a mature woman”.
Now, clip this out and carry it with you.