Me: Do I look OK?
El Cap: You look great.
Me: Do my boobs look weird?
El Cap: What?
Me: Would I look better in a different bra?
El Cap: Honey, it’s O’Maddys.
Me: I don’t care. It’s not about where we go or who I see. I want to look good for you.
El Cap: (sighs) Honey, you would look good naked.
Me: Wow. You are really hungry.
El Cap: No. I’m not. You asked, you were looking for an answer, I answered. If all you really care about is me, take off the clothes and let’s go.
