I hate rain. I hate cold. I hate winter. As you may surmise, I’m in a lovely mood.
Now, I’m not usually this negative, really. I know my blog entries may indicate otherwise, but I swear I’m usually a happy person. It’s just been a really long couple of months.
So, my three tenants are down to one, who I have opted to rent my hovel out to starting… as soon as I have a bathroom. An ad goes in the paper this week for the front half of the house.
Ah, you say, but where will you live?
Good people, I have no clue. I’ll work it out. I’m supposed to be looking at houses with a realtor this week, so maybe I’ll find one I like enough to buy. If not, well, hell, I’ve been peeing outside for a few months now, what’s wrong with sleeping there, too?
Now, I know there are places I can go, for free, no less. But I’m sick of feeling as though my life is in transition; I want to LIVE somewhere and feel stable enough to but the economy size toilet paper. I want to live somewhere where I am not constantly reminded of my college days. I want to have time to play with my dogs. I HATE where I am. I HATE that I have a tenant who regards the lease as a technicality- unless HE wants something. I HATE that I have no energy to do any work because I feel like this house is eating my brain. I HATE feeling this way and believing the only thing that will make me feel better is another place to live.
And I’m not good at that, hating where I am. Last time it happened, I quit my job and my marriage. Well, I’m not married now and I don’t really have a job I dislike enough to quit. I just want to like coming home. And I don’t right now.
It’s raining- AGAIN. Drought, shmout. It’s so wet outside I’m wringing out my lawn furniture to fill the dog dishes, I’ve looked on the internet for plans to build an ark, and the mud trails through my living room/sleeping quarters are deep enough that I’m seriously considering shopping for 4WD shoes. It wouldn’t be so bad if…
If it were summer and I could go to the beach and dive in the water.
If my “yard” didn’t resemble some redneck greased pig pit.
If my apartment had enough light to let the pitious sunshine in.
If I were in a better mood.
If even one of you sends me an e-mail that even SUGGESTS “you have to have a little rain before you see s rainbow” I will personally choke you with my bare hands.
Russ thinks I should become a college professor. Or, at least his alter ego has suggested that. Hmmm, let’s see… I hate school and don’t like people much. So a path that takes me back to school and surrounds me with people who all want something from me… let’s see, I can’t decide, would that be a good idea or not?
Thanks anyway, Russ.
Anyone else have any brilliant thoughts?